Friday, November 20, 2015

and I'll still miss you

it has already been more than a month, I hope you're doing fine. Without your presence there's still loneliness and emptiness at home which will never ever be filled. I miss everything about you, I miss your cooking, I miss your constant naggings and I miss your presence. How I wished I had given you more hugs and many more kisses. I still miss you and I would never fail to get all emotional every time I look back at the photos I took during the difficult period at the hospital. I could have showered you with more love and more concern, and I could have given you more attention. But I didn't and I wished I had. I miss you, and I miss the times you would always buy me LlaoLlao for lunch and we would always share red bean with porridge at Kopitiam even though I was already so full. You never failed to ensure that I have taken my fill and taken all my three meals because you know I'll always skip 1 or 2 meals on certain days especially during my mugging period. I wished I never made you worried about my meals then and I should have let you have a peace of mind instead. 
I miss the times we had together, the times we spent together. I missed the times we I was younger and you would always push me in a stroller with a clear transparent plastic covering over the stroller when it was raining; making sure I do not get drenched and instead it was you who came back from the market wet and drenched. Having to hold an umbrella, carry numerous bags of groceries and having to push the stroller. I was safe and sound under the covers.
I missed the times when I was in primary school and you would never fail to bring me to school everyday. Walking me to school and helping to carry my heavy bagpack full of books. All I had to do was walk and you were the one carrying the bag full of books for me. You were there for me ensuring I get to school safely.
 The school shifted to an inconvenient location and taking a school bus was necessary, and on certain days when I don't make it on time for the bus; I start getting worried and panicky. And you were there; you assured me that I'll get to school in time you brought me there yourself taking the bus all the way to Jurong east area which at that time seemed foreign as if it was a whole new world. I got there safely and you had to take the bus back home, alone.
I miss even the littlest things you've done for me; I miss you peeling fish, I miss you peeling the skin of grapes and letting me eat the flesh while you eat the skin of the grapes, I miss you helping me to take out the skin of my favourite red bean pau as you know I dislike the hard skin.
I became more independent as the years gone by, I needed less of you and I relied on myself more. I didn't need you to help me peel the fish off fish bones for you were afraid I would choke for I've became more careful; you didn't had to help me take off the skin of the grapes like you used to for I've became less fussy. 
 But you were always there for me, you were always there for the family. Always ensuring that we would always get sufficient food and we would always have something to eat when we come back home. It was never easy to cook, but you cooked everyday without fail. 
I've nurtured so much and grew so much under your pampering and care; 
you will always be irreplaceable  
And I will still miss you for everything you've done.  I still miss you for you

I still feel emotional about the places we've been to together and there will always be something gloomy about the hospital we frequented together.

& When will I ever get over the fact that I've already lost someone important and that you're no longer here with me? 

Saturday, September 5, 2015

how I spent my birthday

04/09/2015.         12:00 

Thank you guys for surprising me at midnight and when the clock struck 12. I'm so thankful for you guys actually coming all the way down just to be the first to surprise me, it makes me feel so loved and I just feel so blessed ☺️☺️☺️ words can't express my gratitude for you guys hehehe, I'm just so thankful that you guys are so genuine and kind. ���� thank you guys from the bottom of my feet to the top of my head �� 
Can't wait to study w u soon zhiyi lim. 

04/09/2015.       3:01

Everything was so unexpected and I totally didn't expected that there was to be a surprise. I'm so thankful for you guys, oh what will I ever do without you guys? And where will I ever find anyone else quite like you guys again? �� thankful for you guys and I'm so thankful for you all being such understanding and tolerant individuals, I'm so glad I've met each and everyone of you and I love each and everyone of you for who you are ☺️���� .

Visited the domes at gardens by the bay with the mom! ☺️������

OUTFIT- dress: online • outerwear: pull&bear • shoes: new look • bag: river island •

Love you Mommy ������ for pampering me so much even though I should be the one pampering you// ��
Thank you for going through the hardship of bearing me and for bringing me up through all my 16 years. I'm truly grateful and thankful that I have someone I can always depend on. Thank you for being my moral supporter and my pillar of strength ��

Find me on SNAPCHAT:  alanis-tan

Thank you Mommy for pampering me with these goodies from Zara! I'm in love! ��

Wearing the top which my friends got for me for my birthday, and I'm so glad it fits my style well!! Thank you guys ���� I love it!
 (P/s: I'm not injured! The cast was from my blood donation)

OUTFIT: top- gifted • bag- river island 

Had amazing food at Miss Molly's which was my sis's workplace, loved the food and the great ambience :-) 
 ���� thankful for such an amazing family ��

06/09/2015 11:17 

I got surprised once again by my girls���� thank you my gzbs for the lovely surprise which makes me feel so much like a princess and for all the lovely presents you guys gifted me!!! I can't thank you all enough. Thank you for being so crazy altogether �� Hehehehehe cheers to more special occasions together in the future, I love you girls so much!!! ����
Thank you girls for blessing me on my 16th birthday!! ������

I love each and everyone of you equally!! ������

OUTFIT:  top- Zara • skirt- Zara • necklace- forever 21 • bag- Riverisland • shoes- new look 

I'm so thankful for each and everyone of you and what you guys have done for me, I truly appreciate everything ������ thank you all once again for the sweet 16 for it'll never be sweet without you guys. ����